Just like every other human being on the planet – I am a complicated person full of contradictions. Let me give you an example, I am a VERY tidy person – my desk has compartments for everything. I know where everything is and every paper is in a properly labeled file. One my favorite sayings is “A place for everything and everything a place”.
But my walls – they are an eccentric mix of pictures, inspiration, and memories. No rhyme or reason – no order whatsoever. And the truth is I wouldn’t have it any other way. My walls inspire, remind, and motivate. They are reminders of my dreams and purpose.
This morning I came and sat down to prepare for the day and this particularly poignant picture (drawn by Jennifer Ober) caught my eye and a flood of memories came back…this was me last April…I was a very unhappy, unfulfilled human being. My workplace was a mess and I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. Probably had a touch of burn out and depression to boot.
Today is a much different story…a lot has changed…not only in my physical world (job, family, etc) but also in my spiritual walk. I’m simply not the same person I was last April. The struggles then have prepared me for today. They led to growth and changes for the better.
I’ve been giving struggle quite a bit of thought lately. One child in early adulthood and the other navigating adolescence…lots of opportunity for growth via struggle at the DJRanch.
I’ve been exploring our tendency to avoid or run from the struggle.
To think that something is wrong.
To try to fix.
To try to feel better.
Y’all know what I’m talking about – it’s called being a human and trying to survive.
But here’s part of what I’ve learned this year. Just sit with the struggle. Stop fighting it. Embrace it even. It’s a natural, essential part of growth. And once complete, it’s beautiful. Y’all know the butterfly story I’m sure – but just in case – that’s what I’m talking about.
One of my favorite Bible verses is Romans 8:28:
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
But are you familiar with the verses before it…Romans 8:26-27?
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
Have you experienced that ache too deep for words? No idea even what to pray for? We want the struggle to end but maybe we recognize it’s essential? We have faith in the unseen but holy cow the struggle/potential scares the crap out of us?
I love that the Spirit intercedes for me. The work has been done – He is faithful – I just need to show up and be willing. One day at a time. Fly butterfly fly.
xoxox – DM