Day 5 – God > Heart

31 days Flourish-Day

Second day of studying, pondering, fretting, and praying about AGAPE…the kind of love that comes from God and can only be experienced from the transforming work of the Holy Spirit.

It’s a tall order for sure.

It’s hard enough with those I love naturally…my husband, my children, my family and close friends.  But the real struggle is on verses like Ephesians 4:2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.  It’s one thing to read something and agree with it in principle but quite another to even know how to put it in practice.

I have a particular situation in mind but, out of respect, no particular details will be shared, but I can say this…it’s a DAILY struggle.  It’s starting to affect other areas of my life.  This person has taken residence in my head. Ugh!

I simply do not feel love for this person. I feel arrogance and pride. I’m rude, irritable, and resentful.  I also feel like it’s all their fault and until they change we will continue to have this impasse.

There…I said it. Pitiful huh. I know I’m not alone but still.

And I feel powerless to change.  I’ve prayed, I’ve surrendered, I’ve pleaded for relief and deliverance but here we are in the same situation.

However, this evening I feel hopeful and here’s why…

Don’t think for a minute it’s not lost on me that God has brought this #write31days challenge to me at this particular time.  He is sovereign and He KNOWS my struggle.  I MUST release the idea that I can change my attitude and ability to love through sheer willpower…Not.Gonna.Happen.

Agape is an action word.  I like action…back to that sheer willpower (I’m human y’all)  but really…agape is demonstrative.

John 3:16 – For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

and for us,

1 John 3:18 – Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

So how do you agape (love in action and in truth) 
someone whom you feel no love for?

Firstly, let’s remember we can’t…not without the Holy Spirit…so the first thing is to pray and abide in Christ…that’s stay connected.  And when I say pray, it might be an all day event in some cases…certainly in mine.

Secondly, this particular person is a Christian so we are siblings in Christ.  That means we are family and are commanded in Galatians 6:10 “So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”


Thirdly, I WANT GOD TO ABIDE IN ME…1 John 4:17 says, So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

But let’s be real honest.

I’m struggling with being a doormat.  I feel like this person is in the wrong.  I feel wronged.  I feel resentful and irritable.  I’m absolutely banking on the Word when it says that God is greater than our Hearts.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. 1 John 3:18-20


Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Donna Matthews is a blog writer at the DJRanch where she strives to remain authentic while not taking herself too seriously. She is also the creator of Slay The Chaos (, where she writes about productivity and organization. She is a member of The Writers Guild and Write Space in Houston and is currently writing her first book.