Day 3 – Competitive

To preserve our belief that we are smart, all of us will occasionally do dumb things.
We can’t help it. We are wired that way.
– Mistakes Were Made, Carol Travis and Elliot Aronson

I’m reading a fascinating book titled Mistakes Were Made (but not by me) by Carol Travis and Elliot Aronson (affiliate). The subtitle is “Why we justify foolish beliefs, bad decisions, and hurtful acts.” As one reviewer said, “when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells – mortifying.” ???? So very true.

Last night was my first Vinyasa yoga class in six weeks. Why? Because six weeks ago I was on a go-kart race track in last place. I can’t stand to be last and as I pushed harder and harder I finally crashed into the wall and bruised my ribcage. Have you ever had a bruised ribcage? They hurt like hell and take forever to heal.

Now…it’d be one thing if this was the first time this happened. But no. This is actually the second time. Same place on the track. The same side bruised ribcage.

So…we’re finally healed. Back from Africa. Over the jetlag and ennui. And I finally make it to a class.

A wall of heat greets me. I usually don’t attend the Monday night class and this instructor must really like it hot because I can hardly breathe before the class even begins but I’m thinking “I’ve got this.”

15 mins in and my arms are jellies and my knees are already dropping. And my heart rate is on a steady rise. By the third flow, I’m downright dizzy and doneski…but I don’t want to be last. I don’t want to be left behind. I don’t want to be seen as weak. But for reals – I’m about to pass out.

So I stop. The rest of the class continues while I sit there and catch my breath. It was probably only 3-4 minutes but it felt forever…AND like all eyes were on me (loser).  I needed to stop and rest but I didn’t want to NEED to stop.  I wanted to be “I’ve got this” and instead I got “Oy…this s&%^t’s hard, I’m out of practice, and I need to rest a minute.”

The crazy things we’ll do to not be last, not be seen as weak, and to protect the ego.

Until tomorrow,

Miss a day – read more “The Crazy Things We Do”

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Donna Matthews is a blog writer at the DJRanch where she strives to remain authentic while not taking herself too seriously. She is also the creator of Slay The Chaos (, where she writes about productivity and organization. She is a member of The Writers Guild and Write Space in Houston and is currently writing her first book.