Day 26 – Forgiveness

“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you find the core of strength inside of yourself that survives all hurt.” – Max Lerner

I read the above quote several days ago…jotted it down as an idea but have resisted writing about it…because you know…a lot of times what gets explored here gets put to practice in real life…and who likes to practice forgiveness and agape love??

But then I came across this beauty by Viktor Frankl today, and well, I chose to pick up what’s being thrown down.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to chose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances. – Viktor Frankl

So how do these three quotes come together?

Core strength – be strong in our own identity and who we belong to. Letting God work in and through us…being humble and meek (strength under control)

Maturity – MOST of the time it has absolutely nothing to do with us

Maturity – EVEN IF it has something to do with us it HAS NOTHING to do with our worth as a person and more to do with the other persons own feelings toward themselves.

Attitude – Responding rather than reacting – circumstances do not determine our attitude – any more than people do.

OF COURSE…much easier said/written than to practice…how do we even begin?

Be brave and forgive…remember – most of the time someone else’s bad behavior isn’t really about us…it’s usually has to do with their own feelings toward themselves.  When we hurt, we want to strike out and hurt someone else.  UGH – but to choose to rise above the fray and not take it personally is totally the way to freedom.

Be brave and choose…someone else’s unkindness is not an excuse for me to lower my behavior standards.  Dig deep and find that core of strength – it’s there – turn it around and look for ways to lift up others instead of being setback by those that try to tear you down.  Be kind and encouraging. Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody.

Be brave and change…just because we chose to forgive someone doesn’t mean we stand there and wait for another blow.  Some people are not good for us to be around – some people are just plain mean and unhealthy.  Every situation is different but some call for a change – maybe a change in our reaction – as in don’t take the bait when it’s offered – a choice in attitude.  But other situations call for a change in peer group or at least a new friend.  Another may call for a throat punch.  Ha ha – just kidding but counseling may be in order to work through other relationships.  Point is…nothing changes if nothing changes and to keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is crazy behavior.

Be brave and watch ourselves…this whole post assumes we’re the victim when, as it so happens, we sometimes are the ones doing the harm.  We may not mean to or it’s the result of careless actions but we do hurt others.  Be aware, be willing to hear someone out without justifying, be willing to say I’m sorry.

Be Brave y’all – DM

Read more Be Brave – Be Authentic

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Donna Matthews is a blog writer at the DJRanch where she strives to remain authentic while not taking herself too seriously. She is also the creator of Slay The Chaos (, where she writes about productivity and organization. She is a member of The Writers Guild and Write Space in Houston and is currently writing her first book.