Fly Butterfly Fly…

Just like every other human being on the planet – I am a complicated person full of contradictions.  Let me give you an example, I am VERY tidy – my desk has compartments for everything.  I know where everything is and every paper is in a properly labeled file.  One my favorite sayings is “A place for everything and everything a place”.

But my walls – they are a eccentric mix of pictures, inspiration, and memories.  No rhyme or reason – no order whatsoever. And the truth is I wouldn’t have it any other way.  My walls inspire, remind, and motivate.  They are reminders of my dreams and purpose.

Office picture mosaic


IMG_0212This morning I came and sat down to prepare for the day and this particularly poignant picture (drawn by Jennifer Ober) caught my eye and a flood of memories came back…this was me last April..I was a very unhappy, unfulfilled human being.  My workplace was a mess and I didn’t know what I was doing anymore.  Probably had a touch of burn out and depression to boot.

Today is a much different story…a lot has changed…not only in my physical world (job, family, etc) but also in my spiritual walk.  I’m simply not the same person I was last April. The struggles then have prepared me for today.  They led to growth and changes for the better.

I’ve been giving struggle quite a bit of thought lately.  One child in early adulthood and the other navigating adolescence…lots of opportunity for growth via struggle at the DJRanch.

I’ve been exploring our tendency to avoid or run from the struggle.
To think that something is wrong.
To try to fix.
To try to feel better.

Y’all know what I’m talking about – it’s called being a human and trying to survive.

But here’s part of what I’ve learned this year.  Just sit with the struggle. Stop fighting it. Embrace it even.  It’s a natural, essential part of growth. And once complete, it’s beautiful. Y’all know the butterfly story I’m sure – but just in case – that’s what I’m talking about.

My favorite life verse is Romans 8:28

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

But are you familiar with the verses before it…Romans 8:26-27?

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Have you experienced that ache too deep for words? No idea even what to pray for? We want the struggle to end but maybe we recognize it’s essential?  We have faith in the unseen but holy cow the struggle/potential scares the crap out of us?

I love that the Spirit intercedes for me.  The work has been done – He is faithful – I just need to show up and be willing. One day at a time. Fly butterfly fly.

xoxox – DM

Donna Matthews is a blog writer at the DJRanch where she strives to remain authentic while not taking herself too seriously. She is also the creator of Slay The Chaos (www.slaythechaos.com), where she writes about productivity and organization. She is a member of The Writers Guild and Write Space in Houston and is currently writing her first book.
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One thought on “Fly Butterfly Fly…

  1. Denise Mayfield

    Donna,

    Thanks for sharing! My husband, John, and I have experienced some tough rocky roads during our 2015 journey! We have found ourselves in places not knowing how or what to pray. We are both very intent on making decisions that align with God’s will. Knowing His will has been elusive at time. So. We do the only thing we know to do – lean on the truths of God’s word and hang on to His promises. I have Roman’s 8:26-28 posted all around. So comforting.

    I, also, have been meditating on James 1:2-4 Count it ALL joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may he perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

    In other words, through our trials, God is preparing us for heaven! For this reason, we truly can count it ALL joy!

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