Day 31 – Be Real

It’s done – 31 days of exploring brave and authentic – thanks for joining me and all the support – wouldn’t be near as fun without you!  We’ll finish the month with a little story time.  Y’all remember the Velveteen Rabbit I’m sure…bold emphasis mine.

velveteen-rabbit“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

Real takes time and Real hurts…learning to be real doesn’t happen on a whim – it takes perseverance and patience.  And anyone who has allowed themselves to be transformed into something better knows the pain sometimes involved.  Funny example – I want a bikini body but I like tacos – really gonna have to forgo the tacos to obtain that body.  If you want to be a person of grace, you’re probably gonna experience some hardship.  You want to be filled with joy? You’re gonna have to be thankful even when you want to throat punch the universe.  I’ve never met a strong person with an easy past – it’s the hard things that soften us.

Real isn’t ugly...except to people who don’t understand.  I think that is one of the hardest parts of this journey…to break out of the mold that others have set for us…and as we learned with peer pressure – these molds are not always intentional – in fact, they are most likely passed down from generation to generation – without thought.  It takes bravery to step back, analyze, and intentionally set our own course.

“To be nobody but yourself in a world
which is doing its best day and night to make you like
everybody else means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”
― E.E. Cummings

Love y’all – DM

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Donna Matthews is a blog writer at the DJRanch where she strives to remain authentic while not taking herself too seriously. She is also the creator of Slay The Chaos (, where she writes about productivity and organization. She is a member of The Writers Guild and Write Space in Houston and is currently writing her first book.