I am very happily married – in fact I cannot imagine life not married. James is my best friend, my confidant, my lover, and my partner in many, many adventures. But let me assure you…there are times I don’t like him very much…like even this morning. This morning we were both on each other nerves. And frankly, I didn’t like the way he was talking to me. So I left the room. Really mature I know but one thing I’ve learned after loving James for over 25 years is that leaving the room is sometimes the wisest choice.
A couple of things that make our marriage work:
- He’s the head of the household. Yep, call me old fashioned but I believe that respecting and placing James at the head of our family is the greatest gift I can give our marriage. Now go back and reread that first paragraph. #1 – we have a great marriage. I’m not native enough to believe that this would be easy in a hard marriage – although I will argue that I have a great marriage in large part to the respect I bestow and #2 – he still irritates the heck out of me and I will respectfully let him know when necessary :)
- I think we can both agree that being in right relationship is more important than being right…AND…who needs to stay mad about a silly ol’ disagreement that doesn’t even matter in the long run. Don’t major in the minors. LET IT GO.
- His love for hunting and a sundry of other things…that have absolutely nothing to do with me. You read that right. We do best when we have our own things to do. Different hobbies, interests and time away doing things we love. Not all the time but on a regular basis.
- Our love of adventure…or rather that we both like the same kind of adventure. If he wanted to climb Mt. Everest I’d probably have to decline…too cold. But we are blessed to have the same ideas of what is fun. Whether it’s outdoors, sports, motor vehicles, travel, etc…we’re aligned. AND we like to spend time together…we are absolutely each others best friend. Super important to us.
Like today for instance…we both saw this island…
We both knew that getting to that island would have an element of risk and heck yeah…let’s go for it. It was a spontaneous and mutual decision with few words. Great fun!
So…what makes your marriage work? I’d love to hear your story!
xoxox – DM